Do you find yourself overwhelmed by the stresses of being the parent of a child actor or a child in a performance based industry?

Parents unknowingly influence their child’s mind by the expression of their own thoughts and behaviors. It is critical that parents mind their emotional health so as to better parent the emotional well-being of their children. Children’s early influencers are their parents.  The child’s mind is like a sponge, soaking in what is around them without much of a filter. They begin to form associations to how they feel about things as well as belief systems. This life script is stored in the subconscious mind and directly links to the perspectives the child handles life with as an adult.

It is understandable if you are overwhelmed because the performer’s industry may put you in a constant state of fight or flight, adoration and rejection, feeling like a good parent one day and being disappointed the next day. There are triggers to stress, competition, quick turn-around times, meeting agent/manager expectations and maintaining social media presence, all of which can hinder your ability to parent well while being in the moment.

Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can with how you know best to handle this. Tend to your self-care because the investment in yourself is a seed in the emotional well-being of your child.

 

4 Ways To Get On Your Path to Emotional Well-Being

 

Schedule ‘Me Time’

Calendar day(s) and time-frames for you to relish in the things that nurture your spirit. Parent Sally Dodd says, “taking a drive to the beach where I can reflect on my personal goals and gratitude allows my mind to relax in an environment that brings me peace and creative inspiration.” Another parent commits to exercise early morning to release stress or anxiety from the body so that she is not easily triggered by what may go on around her on the way to a meeting, in an audition waiting room or on a set.

Identify what is Fact or Feeling

When you have worry or fear, stop it in its tracks and ask yourself, “is this a fact or is this a feeling?” Feelings are not facts. With repetition of this practice, you will increase your emotional intelligence and begin to automatically have a healthier thinking process that weighs logic and reason. For example, it may feel like other parents are trying to sabotage your child. Ask is this a fact or a feeling? Am I choosing to believe this so that it supports my feelings? Can I choose a healthier perspective instead?

Lead by Example

Adults can influence the thoughts and behaviors of other adults. Choose to do so operating from your areas of strength and not from weakness. This is an effective tool used in positive workplace cultures. Think of acting classes, audition spaces and TV or movie sets as your work-spaces. Any time you feel a negative thought or feeling, intercept it and choose the opposite expression of it. What strengths do you want your child to mirror by reflecting you?

Use your Downtime Productively

Savor any downtime while your child is coaching, auditioning, or on set to invest deposits into your own development. Are you drawn to writing a script or a blog in your area of life experience that can help others? Is there a book you want to read or an outline of a business idea you need to flesh out on paper? When you associate the “downtime” with productive “me time,” you will enjoy the journey alongside your child, while remembering you have your own life deserving of its own independent fulfillment.

Get in the driver’s seat of your emotional mastery. Just like driving, it becomes an automatic behavior the more you practice.

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Jessica Morales will be speaking at the Looking Ahead Program in the fall of 2018, a supportive community to help young performers and their families thrive through the challenges of the industry. For a complete list of services visit www.lookingaheadprogram.org, provided through The Actors Fund.  She also teaches workshops and offers private coaching. Article appeared in Backstage June 2018.

 

www.beyouhypnotherapy.com

IG: @beyoubloom

Phone: 213-935-0061

beyoubloom@gmail.com

Hypnotherapy is focused on moving the client to a positive place in the present and future using his/her areas of strengths rather than in peeling back the layers of the past. How do you wish to feel today, what kind of person do you wish to become and what life do you wish to have? The reason why changing behavior and way of thinking can be difficult is because what is stored in the subconscious, is incongruent with the conscious goal. For example, you may want to break a pattern of behavior because logically speaking, it is healthier for you. However, the association to “comfort” brought on by the old behavior, is deeply rooted on a subconscious level. Since the subconscious makes up about 88% of will power, guess which side wins out most of the time?

In private practice, with my guidance, clients work with their subconscious mindset, which stores belief systems and associations that have been built, both positive and negative. The client is in complete control over what he/she wishes to explore and what he/she would like to create so as to move forward in accomplishing the desired change. The difference with hypnotherapy is that we use deep relaxation so as to rid of any tensions and stress in the body and mind that causes constructive thoughts to be blocked. Just like an athlete performs far better when the body is open, relaxed and fluid, so does the mind.

In using progressive relaxation techniques, calm overrides stress, anxiety or fight/flight. Through breath, the heart vessels open up and the feel good hormones bring the body to a refueled state. As the parasympathetic system activates, the mind and the body align, to a state of balance, or homeostasis. This is the catalyst to potential new neuropathways that support new thinking and behaviors. It is the ideal state for learning and where creativity flourishes. Whether at work or in personal life, this is the ideal frame of mind to tackle anything. Clients leave lifted, energized and ready to take on their next steps with clarity.

Clients describe the experience as a mental and physical relaxation. Imagery is my key tool because the mind largely communicates through images. It is why athletes use creative visualization for game execution, as do pre-surgical patients to facilitate healing and recovery, which has proven effective according to medical studies. I use direct suggestions from what the client and I discussed prior such as how the client wishes to feel instead and what is key to them, so that this is incorporated into the session. I also ask exploratory questions, the “what if’s” that light up the frontal lobe region of the mind, responsible for functions such as decision-making, problem solving and behaviors.

In this alert restfulness, the client steps into their ideal self because they are now in touch with their most useful resources. In the day-to-day concerns of life, the optimistic voice can become suppressed. We can get stuck in the past or future pacing about what is to come, that to be still in the moment to recognize what is good, takes a back seat. This is the opportunity to get in the zone and make that vision happen today, but in the mind. This works because the brain synapses are stronger in the imagination and since there is no difference between fantasy and reality in the subconscious mind, the mind accepts it is real. After the session, clients are in emotional alignment with the change and can now take the steps forward.

For clients with career or workplace goals, I use a combination of business tools such as flawless execution strategies along with positive organizational performance interventions, mindfulness and group visualization. In speaking engagements, group visualization is just as effective as the productive energy in the room is magnified! It is by far the favorite among employees and management teams. Some have even made mental rehearsal part of the workplace culture. Along with emotional intelligence management, a MindRIGHT forms, from a mind that is set to a mind that is flexible and can transition from a reactor (the subconscious emotions) to a responder (the conscious, logical response).

The major asset hypnotherapy offers is that it addresses one of Einstein’s most famous quotes, “you cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness that created it.” The world’s most brilliant thinkers have accessed alpha state, an altered state of deep connectivity and awareness, to come up with their greatest inventions and contributions. As a result of such workshops, studies show an increase in virtuous behavior, intrinsic motivation, focused engagement, personal investment, compassion, creative thinking and productivity to name a few. Companies that have transitioned to a Positive Organization are retaining happy employees who take home what they’ve learned in the workplace.

That is what makes the impact of this work hugely rewarding!

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